Small moments turn into ideas of tall
lifetimes. Morning kisses on the shoulder. Degrees heightened by a simple touch from quick hands. I can feel Cool Fingertips running through my scalp. Massaging the immediate stress away. Mediocre strokes the middle of me. When you penetrate.
The morning after–is thick syrup stuck
between my fingers and thighs.
Heightened cluelessness humidifies the recycled air and it lingers
over the layers of us.
Because the last time was supposed
to be the last time. But this time
was different because I’m grown now and my view of you has. Evolved.
It was too many good moments for us. So I knew it was time. Though my heart
couldn’t prepare for your departure, I had to convince myself
of its validity.
I said I didn’t need you. I had better prospects.
You were just a place holder with good sex
Eventually comes the
missed calls.
Ignored texts.
Nonchalant responses.
Disappearing acts.
Again, Abandoning me so
dormant emotions like old glasses cloud my
view, disengaging my discernment.
In present time now
it’s been months since…
and you’re out of my life for good.
Because our last time held the final
moments of my life that I’m willing to let you.
take.
I’ve grown from that, plus I have a new
friend now.
I was just fine
until you intruded back into my life. Atleast,
that’s what I told myself.
But Your new scent permeates my couch, my walls, my carpet. My air. Suffocating
me with nostalgic feelings mixed with hope for our future. And then Your smile…it corrupts any ideas of abstinence.
Until Loneliness lands upon my consciousness. And once you leave, as you always do…
I promise myself never again.
-Nyque B.
Until next time.
