Things I Had To Realize By 25:
This is a lesson that I am continuously learning. As people we are naturally self-centered. It doesn’t have to be to the extent of thinking the world revolves around us or anything. But we all have our ways. I had to learn that everyone has their own issues and they bring them wherever they are. It took me awhile to understand that how someone treats me has nothing to do with me. Before, if someone would treat me unfairly or didn’t text me back or whatever, I would attribute their behavior to myself. Which was wrong. Now don’t get me wrong, I am still conscious of how my actions affect others, but I am also conscious of the fact that others are going through their own issues and it may not be me who is the issue. As I said before this is something I am still conquering.Don’t Take It Personal.
Some Lessons We Should Learn From Others.
Sometimes when people give me advice that I ask for I still follow my own path. It’s not that I don’t respect their advice, it’s just that I do what I want to do. I am hardheaded. I can admit that. It has its positives and negatives, like most things. But some lessons we should learn from others instead of marching to the beat of our own drum. I know for sure some advice I give should be taken, even though it isn’t. Thinking retrospectively I feel if I would have listened to others, I would be better off in certain aspects of my life…like my credit for example. Not every situation is the same, and it is still important to make my own decisions and experience life on my own, but it is still possible to learn from others. So now I try to learn from others instead of dismissing their experience and advice. And of course this doesn’t mean I listen to every and anyone who has an opinion or story but I do take lessons here and there when it is valuable.
Do shit that brings you joy.
PASSION. I had to discover the things I was passionate about, outside of school and work. It was imperative for me to find things that gave me life, outside of Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder. I found activities to enjoy like playing tennis, volunteering, and writing. I got into Yoga. Before I would be super stressed out and make excuses why I couldn’t do it but even devoting thirty minutes to an activity made a difference. I became happier. We all deal with stress with some aspect of our lives, so it is important to find your inner talent or a hobby…an interest, or a sport that you enjoy and find time to do it.
People come into your life to teach you how to love and how you want to be loved.
While discussing my experiences in love and relationships with friends, I realized that every man that I have had a relationship with for a long period of time (a year or more), I loved in one way or another. At first I thought that I couldn’t love different people for different reasons. I thought it was an end all be all love, and all other people I thought I loved, were really another emotion. Infatuation, passion, lust. Whatever it was it wasn’t love. But as I am getting older, I see that each relationship and love I feel is to teach me something about myself. From past loves I am beginning to understand myself more, and what I want out of a relationship. I am beginning to notice the way I love people and how I accept the way people love me. This is all a process in life, and I just recently got the memo. It took me a long time to realize that just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to be with them, and that is OK. It is important to love fully, and enjoy it while it lasts.
Every situation doesn’t need a reaction.
- So I am a hot head. I can admit that. Well I used to be. Let’s just say I am still learning this lesson…but I have realized that every action doesn’t deserve a reaction. I let things slide now. I hold my tongue on certain things. I had to learn to think before I resort to violence, and/or cussing someone out. I have more things to lose now, so when someone does something that would usually make me react in an unpleasant way, I just put a fake ass smile on my face and keep it moving. I feel more at peace now that I have more control over my reactions, and emotions. Everyone has their bad days, and I’m not saying that I won’t or don’t slip up, but more often than not I am cool and composed during most situations and altercations.