When you love a F**kboy. Pt.1
Small moments turn into ideas of tall
lifetimes. Morning kisses on the shoulder. Degrees heightened by a simple touch from quick hands. I can feel Cool Fingertips on my scalp. Massaging the immediate stress away. Mediocre strokes the middle of me. When you penetrate.
The morning after–is thick syrup stuck
between my fingers and thighs.
Heightened cluelessness humidifies the recycled air and it lingers
over the layers of us.
Because the last time was supposed
to be the last time. But this time
will be different because I’m grown now and my view of you has. Evolved.
It was too many good moments for us. So I knew it was time. Though
I still couldn’t prepare for your departure, I convinced myself
of its validity.
I told myself I didn’t need you. I only wanted you for
one thing. We were just having fun
cus that’s how we were.
Eventually comes the
Again, Abandoning me so
dormant emotions like old glasses cloud my
view, disengaging my discernment.
In present time now
it’s been months since…
and you’re out of my life for good
this time. Because our last time held the final
moments of my life that I’m willing to give.
I’ve grown from that, plus I have a new
I was just fine
until you intruded back into my life. Atleast,
that’s what I believed.
But Your new scent permeates my couch, my walls, my carpet. My air. Suffocating
me with nostalgic feelings mixed with hope for the future. Your smile corrupts
my ideas of abstinence. Until the familiar loneliness
lands upon my consciousness.
Until next time.
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