Lovers &Friends Pt.3 Having Friends Of The Opposite Sex While You’re In A Relationship
Is it cool to have friends of the opposite sex while you’re in a serious relationship?
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I don’t see the point of being in a serious relationship and having friends of the opposite sex that aren’t apart of the life that you made with your dude. So not so much friends, but more like associates. To me is someone that you know superficially. It’s someone that you talk to here and there. You’re cool with them, but you don’t talk to them on the phone, or see each other outside of work or school. You know, that kind of thing. That’s something that I’m cool with because I am possessive when it comes to relationships. A serious relationship to me is living together, or having kids; having some kind of commitment. A grown up kind of relationship.
But friends? Ab-so-lute-ly not.
I know that when you’re in a relationship it is imperative to have a life outside of the relationship, but my man having a close connection with another woman, who is not family, or connected with business is something that doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t feel like I’m speaking from a place of insecurity or distrust either, simply because I know how people are. Women and men alike. Your dude could have a friend that really just wants to be his friend, but then again she could be trying to take him away, on the low. I’m 80% sure that every woman has had that one friend who could get it. I know I have. But on the same token, I have had friends that I have never even been sexually attracted to, or done anything sexually with.
When I think of situations like this I always try to understand the circumstances or foundations of the friendship. Like is it a friend of the family, that comes around on the holidays? Is it something where the two meet for brunch every Sunday afternoon, and meet for drinks after work on certain days? Or is it a friendly-working relationship, where the two talk about work, school or business over a turkey sandwich and lemonade? Do they talk on the phone a lot? Have a special activity that they do together? Or communicate just to see how each other are doing a few times out of the year?
But, I do believe in friends to a certain extent:
I think if you are going to have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex they need to be introduced to your dude, and he should do the same if he has a female friend. When you’re in a relationship it’s important to have a friend that stays in their own lane and follows boundaries. Like a friend should not call during certain hours or be too touchy-feely, or have too many inside jokes (I don’t care if that’s petty). There should also be mutual respect between all parties involved. A situation that I would be comfortable with is having other couples that are friends. For instance, going out on a double date with my dude, male friend, and his date. That’s fine. Someone who is just a friend shouldn’t have an issue being around your boo.
At a certain age, when you’re in a serious relationship, what is the need for a friend of the opposite sex? Do you mind if your dude has a friend of the opposite sex? Or does your dude mind? If you’re a lesbian, how does that work? I’m curious. Let me know!